It occurred to me this weekend (at Wil's first birthday party while talking to Sean Higgins and his girlfriend, Rachel) that I don't have one big material hangup. This is not a "hey, aren't I fabulous" statement, rather it's a "what the heck is wrong with me...why can't I just relax" one. So I've been pondering the realization for a couple days to continue on this never ending journey of meeting myself for the first time over and over and over again.
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Sean likes watches...expensive ones. Rachel likes handbags, also high-end. My friend, Nik, too, has a thing for high-end handbags, as well as sunglasses. Betsy likes anything hair related...products, gadgets, gizmos, as well as body products and fun food finds. My Mom has a thing for body lotions and perfumes. She has more than her bathroom has room to hold. My husband loves all things electronic. If it plugs in or requires batteries, he's all about it. My in-laws like fine dining and have a remarkably refined palette. (Comment on what your "thing" is).
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So, why don't I have a "thing"? I'm fond of telling people that I'm cheap. I'm not actually cheap because I will spend money and don't try to get over on other's pocketbooks by glomming. And, I don't clip coupons, but that's really because I never remember to bring them along, so what's the point. More like it, I'm frugal and practical. I shop at the Mall and occasionally I'll buy something there, but RARELY if it's not on sale. My most favorite places to shop are Home Goods, Marshall's, TJMaxx, Old Navy and Target and let's face it, even those places create agony within when I have to pull out the debit or credit card. It's not a lack of money because my husband provides very well for us, I just hate parting with money. When I shop, I make one round in the store to collect all the things I like and then a second round to put most (sometimes all) back, talking myself in or out of material goods. It's a very strange psychology. When I do splurge on myself, I find it hard to fully enjoy my purchase. What's really the difference between a Prada purse (which I own, but did not pay for) and the one I bought at Marshall's? Ahh, nothing! They both carry my crap and will both end up covered in pink dust from the Cover Girl blush that broke in the bottom. Or the Chanel sunglasses that I will sit on or drop a gazillion times before I finally just loose them altogether. For that matter, my cell phone is so old it may as well be from the 80's, but I can still get calls on it, so in my mind it's perfectly good. And, I'll admit, I love to watch the money grow in the bank. Truly thrills me. I know it's wise to save for the future and the unknown. BUT, above all, this is about control and my inability to relax and just live a little.
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I love seeing others enjoy their "thing". I WISH I could enjoy one. So, I'm going to SURRENDER myself to a fun material allowance...once I figure out what it will be. In the meantime, I'll be saving for it.
9 comments:
my thing(s): SHOES (i walk into a shoe warehouse and my heart skips and then i get bummed i can't take EVERY pair home with me - i want the warehouse as my closet), MAGAZINES (not the gossipy type but anything health-related or artsy or home renovate/decorate-related), BOOKS (i hyperventilate in a book store), MUSIC - i.e. CDs and concerts. So, basically when i walk into the local Borders Books/Music store, they have resorted to paying a private EMT to tend to me upon the first few minutes in the store until my heart can return to normal.
Let yourself do it, Jess - it's FUN!
hmmmm...not that i splurge on them because i, too, am a total cheapskate...but i LOVE cosmetics and shoes. i have an embarrassing number of lipsticks, most of which were freebies my mom got in a gift with purchase that she doesn't like.
but again, as a self-diagnosed cheapskate, i don't enjoy shelling out the $$ for them as much as i enjoy owning them.
Jessica,
Geri is a lot like you. She's really not materialistic. Yes, we enjoy fine dining, and she LOVES to travel, but that comes about after having had to scrimp when we were younger, as well as not wanting to cook anymore (which I fully understand). This is a topic to discuss with her.
I'd say you are extremely conscientious and frugal in a positive way...nothing wrong with that.
Me, on the other hand? Well, you see what kind of cars I buy.
Case closed.
Pop Pop
Pop Pop, if it wasn't for your exquisite taste in cars and your generous discount to us once you're ready to get the next speeding beauty, I'd still be driving my Toyota Tercel!
Yes, I love my Coach handbags and glasses. I don't buy them nearly as often as I used to though and when I do its usually when they send me a "preferred customer invitation". I also have a rule that if I want a new bag that I must first sell an old one on ebay.
I'm not sure what your thing is... but I do know that the people at Overstock.com love you!
Maybe your thing should be Jesus action figures!
Sorry, Jess, you're going to have to wait awhile for the next auto discount. I ain't gettin' rid of this one for a long time! Not with the stock and bond markets killing us!
Pop Pop
It's okay, PopPop. Your new ride is more 'hot' than family friendly. Think my next car will be a minivan anyway...and they're not hot.
my grandmother who grew up in extreme poverty and had a successful life said something to me that really resonated before she died....she said that she plans to have lots of fun with her hard earned money and if there was any money leftover upon her death, then the family could have it. she spent her money on very nice things, she gave her money to her community, she travelled, she golfed, etc etc etc. she did this very guilt-free, and i watched her doing it with admiration. point being, i treat myself to things and i am reminded of my grandmother when i do.
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